


Ikanaide

by SourGummies777



Series: And you let him go [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Language of Flowers, M/M, implied bokuaka and terushou bc im trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11408022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourGummies777/pseuds/SourGummies777
Summary: That promise was eventually going to be broken, Oikawa always knew it. There was no way two people could stay together all their lives.  But still, the pain of seeing his shadow alone on the pavement was like a final blow to him.





	Ikanaide

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfic, I hope you guys enjoy it! Also, this fanfic is heavily inspired by the song Ikanaide, I suggest you guys check it out, the lyrics are just so Iwaoi.

The train station is filled with people. There are people that are being reunited, and people that are parting. There is a boy with black and white spiked hair, sobbing against the shoulder of a shorter boy with slightly curled black hair. The shorter boy looks close to tears too, but it’s obvious that he’s doing his best to keep himself calm for the sake of the taller. There are some more people like that, like the boy that resembles a snake with his lithe body, dark green hair and snake bites holding the hand of a boy with an undercut, the longer part of his hair bleached and messy, his cheeks streaked with tears.

There are two boys walking, no older than 19. One of them, the shorter one with darker hair is carrying a couple of bags, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top that shows off his well-built arms. The other boy, the one with a pretty face and a longer figure is dressed in jeans and a shirt that says ‘’I want to believe’’. The taller of the two is draped all over the shorter, it’s almost like the shorter male is giving him a piggyback ride but the longer one still has his feet on the ground, walking to the dreaded destination.

‘’I’ll be fine Iwa-chan, have some faith in me!’’ Oikawa all but wails, his voice right next to Iwaizumi’s ear. Iwaizumi knows this tone, this tone that’s hiding Oikawa’s tears.

‘’The last time you said that you ended up in a knee brace Trashkawa, I think I have the right to be worried.’’ Iwaizumi sighs, the memories of Oikawa on the gym floor with his knee bent at an angle that is definitely not natural filling his brain. He shakes his head, as if to dismiss the bad memories, and speaks again ‘’I already have enough bags to carry Oikawa, get off my back.’’. 

The setter pouts and tightens his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck.  
‘’No Iwa-chan, these are the last minutes of our time together! And I will not let it go to waste.’’ Oikawa says, his voice stubborn to foreign ears, but bitter to Iwaizumi's. Iwaizumi looks forward, completely ignoring the setter’s words.

‘’My train doesn’t take off for another half an hour’’ he says, his voice tight and controlled, ‘’We can get something to drink after I drop off my bags.’’ Oikawa nods into his neck, and Iwaizumi knows that he’s trying to hide the fact that if he speaks, his voice will come out raspy and tearful. Iwaizumi tightly closes his eyes, as if to push back the tears of his own, and keeps walking.

 

‘’And if you even think about overworking yourself, I will come all the way from Kyoto to kick your ass, alright?’’ Iwaizumi says, his arms tightly wrapped around the Oikawa, the said boy’s head tucked into Iwaizumi’s neck, breathing heavily. ‘’And don’t forget to eat something else than milk bread. You’ll live alone, so at least learn how to make ramen.’’ He continues, his own voice tightening around the second sentence. He takes a deep breath and tightens his arms around the other boy. 

He never thought that this moment would come, but here it was, with all its might. The moment where he’d let Oikawa go. But again, he decided to go to a med school, and the one in Kyoto looked like the best option with all the advanced labs and well-educated professors. But because the school had a heavy workload, the students were usually unable to go to their homes until the summer break started, which meant Iwaizumi wouldn’t see Oikawa for ten, maybe eleven months. His stomach dropped with realisation, he wouldn’t see Oikawa for almost a year, wouldn’t be there to offer him a shoulder to cry on when he needed, wouldn’t be there to drag his ass home when he spent himself in the gym, wouldn’t be there for everything they planned to do in college.

‘’Iwa-chan’’ Oikawa said, his voice filled to the brim with fake cheerfulness ‘’Are you my mom?’’ he finished with the biggest, fakest smile Iwaizumi has ever seen from him. ‘’What?’’ Iwaizumi said, pulling a face that Oikawa would normally be scared of. The setter laughed, the sound of the laugh was tight and choked up, breaking Iwaizumi’s heart in every way. 

Without a warning, a sharp dinging sound was heard from the speaker of the station, and after that the voice of a lady requesting all Kyoto passengers to board the train. Oikawa’s eyes widened, and his arms tightened around Iwaizumi, burying his face even deeper into his neck. Iwaizumi’s arms held Oikawa tighter too, just for a second it felt like if he held the setter close enough maybe they’d become one, nothing separating them, not even the nine- hour train ride to Kyoto. 

But it was just a second, and after that Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa away, knowing that if he didn’t do it now, he couldn’t ever do it. Then, he wiped a tear that made its way down the setter’s face. His eyes met the other boy’s eyes, both filled with unshed tears, and slowly leaned in to place a small kiss on his lips. He pulled back as soon as their lips touched, and turned his back to the taller boy, making his way towards the train, not looking back once.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Oikawa could only watch as his childhood friend walked away in fast steps, almost gliding. He wanted to do something, maybe yell after him, maybe catch his wrist and beg him to not to go, something to make Iwaizumi not leave. It was childish, he knew that he didn’t need Iwaizumi to live on. He could learn how to make ramen, he could tell another team member to forcibly drag him from the gym if he was overworking, he could perhaps replace Iwaizumi’s actions.

But he could never replace his presence. He couldn’t make someone pay attention to him, smack him across the head when he was being moody, take care of him when he was sick. He could survive without him, but he doubted he could live fully without him being there. So instead of calling after him, he put on his biggest, brightest smile on his face and waved to his childhood friend. 

‘’It’s for his own good.’’ He said to himself. ‘’He even took the last train of the day just to spend more time with you’’. Still, none of the excuses he made in his mind dulled the pain in his heart, the pain getting heavier every second the train glided away. ‘Don’t cry’’ Oikawa says to himself, feeling his tears making their way down his cheeks. ‘’Don’t you dare cry’’. So he keeps waving, at least until the train disappears, the night sky making it easier. 

He wastes no time exiting the station after that, merely sparing a glance to that black-haired boy from earlier, who was sitting on a nearby bench, his shoulders shaking and tears staining his shirt as they fell from his face. He sees some other familiar faces too, He sees Tobio-chan and his team walking to the exit of the station, the only missing person being their captain. The reserve setter with gray hair and a beauty mark below his eye was wiping his eyes, his chest heaving with sobs. He also sees the blonde boy with an undercut from earlier, leaning against a wall and staring at the floor with red, poofy eyes.

He knows how they feel. How it feels to just know that someone you love so dearly is so far away from you. So close, even in the same country, yet so far away. He starts walking to his home, just a couple of blocks away from the train station.

He passes the flower shop that Iwa-chan asked him out in, a bouquet of pink carnations, sunflowers, and orchids. He fastens his steps, passing the ramen shop where him and Iwa-chan had their first date. He passed the small park that they used to play as kids and would come as teenagers, deep in the night. Iwaizumi would always bring a soft blanket and a sweatshirt with him, give the sweatshirt to Oikawa and wrap the blanket around their shoulders as they silently sat on the bench, enjoying each other’s presence. 

He turned the corner and noticed that he was right under a streetlight, his shadow on the pavement. All alone. He smiled bitterly, remembering the promise Iwaizumi made years, so many years ago.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘’But Iwa-chan, it’s so scary at night! Also, my mom said if you pass this street light after dark, wolves would get you. Are you sure we can make it to the park?’’ A four-year-old Oikawa asks to his friend. He is eyeing the streetlamp up and down, looking at it like it would attack the two kids anytime.

‘’Listen Tooru, do you want to go the park or not?’’ an obviously irritated four-year-old Iwaizumi asks, glaring at his friend. ‘’Well, I don’t want to die… I’m too young to die Iwa-chan! I haven’t even seen the aliens yet! How can you ask me to risk my life like this?’’ Oikawa asks, his eyes filling with tears. 

Iwaizumi looks at his friend, then tilts his head to the side with a weird look in his eyes. ‘’What did your mom exactly say about those wolves?’’ he asks, the weird look not leaving his eyes. ‘’She said that if you pass this streetlight alone after the dark, the wolves get you!’’. 

Iwaizumi smiles, a big smile that showed all his teeth and reached his eyes. ‘’But you aren’t alone. You have me with you, so the wolves won’t get you.’’ Then his smile dissolves into something more serious, his eyes full of honesty and determination.

‘’I promise, you’ll never walk this street alone, ever, okay? I’ll be there to walk with you to fight the wolves off, no matter what!’’ he says, grabbing Oikawa’s hand. ‘’Iwa-chan, you’re so cool! You’re like the knights that we see in the story books, brave and so, so cool!’’ Oikawa exclaims, his voice filled to the brim with fascination. 

The two boys walk past the street lamp, still holding hands and run towards the park, their childish squeals and laughs filling the small park.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That promise was eventually going to be broken, Oikawa always knew it. There was no way two people could stay together all their lives. But still, the pain of seeing his shadow alone on the pavement was like a final blow to him. 

He sank down on his knees, his hands hitting the pavement hard, his tears flowing down his cheeks and dropping to the floor. ‘’Don’t go.’’ He said between his sobs, his voice raspy. He looked up, pressing his hands to his face and yelling out the same thing over and over again, until his throat was hurting and his voice was almost gone. He stood up when he had no tears left to shed, brushing the dust off his jeans with his hands and made his way home, still alone. 

 

Oikawa took out the calendar that Seijoh gave all third years as a graduation gift -boring, perhaps, but definitely useful- and marked a day from the calendar, eleven months and fifteen days from today, and dropped a note under it:  
‘’Reunion’’  
The wait would be long and hard, Oikawa knew it, but he also knew that in the end, seeing a slightly shorter boy with dark brown, messy hair and a genuine smile on his face, holding a big bouquet of Calla Lilies was going to be worth the wait. He then dropped to his bed, rolling to his side and taking his phone out, only to see a message.

Bara Ace  
*image attached* (00:13)  
This guy looks like an owl, and when the ex-cap of Karasuno said that to him he started hooting. Hasn’t stopped yet. I’ll call you when I arrive. 

Love you (00:15)

Yes, it was definitely going to be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the story! Comments and kudos are always welcome, and please tell me if I should write the bokuaka and terushou too, I'm thinking of making this into a series where couples part for college, hmu on my tumblr @gayerthanchanel if you guys want to see a specific pairing. And also, check the meanings of the flowers mentioned in this story, it's a little detail but it makes more sense that way.


End file.
